I'm A Gold Digger Not A Feminist

fem·i·nism

/ˈfeməˌnizəm/ noun noun: feminism the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes. synonyms:the women's movement, the feminist movement, women's liberation, female emancipation, women's rights; post-feminism, womanism; informalwomen's lib "she was a great pioneer of feminism"

OK OK, Click bait guilty as charged! of course I would regard myself as a feminist. As a follow up from a previous blog Pink & Blue Jobs though I wanted to share how some people view my life aspirations under the 'stigma' of the feminist movement not the acceptance of it.

As you know, I have some strong hustle skills and some strong opinions, and I promised you from my very first blog that I would share raw, real and unfiltered me.

Part of my drive, motivation and determination in the grand hustle of things is to obtain a level of financial freedom and security. You guys hear and see me talk about the 'Range Rover' and Grand Piano lifestyle I work hard to aspire too. but many of you wil also be aware that I long to be a mother, a strong nurturing type with traditional family values and an old school outlook on my ideal relationship.

I've written before about the Feminist stigma. The feeling of being judged by other strong women in my community because I am slightly more traditional in my ideals.

Don't get me wrong I want to contribute, and I would never want a free ride from anyone. But when I talk to other strong women about my 'Wife Life' fantasy I can see the unsettled gate and snide side eye.

Let me just lay that out for you. I am deeply privileged to be able to share my passion and gifts with other people to help them on their journey and it really is so much more than a check. I am honestly blessed to love what I do, and it NEVER feels like a job! I would never want to give it up completely.

With that in mind though I do have a traditional yearning to become a stay at home mother, a domestic goddess and a wife. While I am sure I would continue with my career in one form or another and contribute financially into the family unit. I fantasize about 'socially mobile supper clubs' dinner parties of homemade pasta, musically gifted children with recitals that I can humble brag about and a fragrant kitchen garden that I would loving tend to on sunny spring mornings.

Non of the above aspirations though come cheaply, and in order to live out the fantasy I would have to secure a lifestyle that had a significant income to sustain it, whether that be from my own savings or from a financially secure partner. We live in a world where we are encouraged to fulfill our dreams and set our sights on a goal. If you want something work for it, manifest it, forge it, ask, believe, receive. blah . blah. blah.

My dream though has become increasing uncool. To secure a stable financial future in which to build a family, is now 'Gold Digging'. A woman who chooses to settle faces harsh judgement and criticism from those who feel that we should be 'independent' and 'career focused' or able to 'have it all' Maybe I don't want it all. What then ? Am I less of a women? Am I less of a role model to young girls ? Am I void of self worth and strength to be dependent on a man?

Or could it be, as I hope it is. That I am dreaming of embracing my femininity and divine birth right as a women to bare children. That I am choosing to shape the minds of our future generation in an enriched cultural environment and secure family unit. That I contribute and commit to being a supportive team member and partner, creating a loving home in a house, and contributing beyond finance.

My dream may not be yours. but does it make it any less valid?

I am interested to hear your comments and experiences, please feel free to comment.

Stay Fabulous!